I'm thinking

Image courtesy of SpiritOfBaraka.com

The alarm goes off.

I wake up and roll around in bed for a while. I'm thinking that I am still sleepy, but I should get up anyway.

My dog starts whining to go for a walk. I'm thinking that I should take her out, otherwise I will end up with a nice souvenir on my carpet.

I take her for a walk. The air is cold and fresh. I'm thinking about what my manager said yesterday, and whether I should say something back or not.

I go back home, shave and take my shower. I'm thinking about what I should have for breakfast.

I am eating breakfast: Scrambled eggs with goat cheese and sun-dried tomatoes and a slice of french toast with butter. I'm thinking that there will be traffic on my way to work and that I should wait for an hour or so to avoid it, but I leave anyway.

I am driving to work. Everybody else is. I'm thinking that my boss might be already in and that he will probably stop by my office and chat as he does every morning.

I arrive at work. My boss is not in yet.

I reply few emails and start writing some documents. It's boring but I write them anyway. I'm thinking about lunch and wondering which of the five cafeteria meals I will have today.

I have a meeting. We never accomplished anything in these meetings. I am thinking that I should skip it and get some work done, but it's not about what you get done. So I attend the meeting anyway.

It's finally lunch time. I sit with some coworkers eating and chatting. I'm thinking that I still have lots of stuff to finish before I go home and excuse myself to go back to work.

I go back to work. I need to finish these documents before heading home. I'm thinking that there may be traffic on my way back today.

I finish the documents and email them to my boss. I'm thinking that I should take off before he reads them and replies.

I'm driving home. Everyone else is. I'm thinking about my dog at home, and whether she finished chewing the carpet, the couch, or her own tail.

I get home and take my dog for a walk. I'm thinking about tonight's episode of Lost, and whether I should have pizza or chicken while watching it.

I watch Lost and eat pasta. The episode is boring, but I watch it anyway. I'm thinking that I should open my laptop and browse the web for a while.

I go online and read the news. There is nothing new. There is never anything new, but I read the news anyway.

I feel accomplished. I'm thinking that I should check my email in case there are any urgent messages that need my attention. There has never been urgent messages, but I open Outlook anyway.

I read my email. I'm thinking that this way, I don't have to start my day tomorrow by reading and answering them.

I write replies to some emails. I'm thinking that many of them didn't need to be answered, read, or sent in the first place. But I feel productive.

I go to the gym and play squash with a friend. I'm thinking that I am not thinking when I play squash.

I go home, grab a snack and watch The Tonight Show. I'm thinking that what Jay Leno says is not funny, but the audience is laughing, so I laugh anyway.

It's midnight so I have to go to bed. I am not sleepy but I'm thinking that's when people should go to sleep, so I go to bed anyway.

I set my alarm and slide under the covers.

I grab a book and read a couple of pages. It's about the Zen mind and how to live in the moment. I'm thinking that I am always living in the moment, it's just that the moment is always few hours late.

I close the book and turn off the light. I'm thinking that I can't wait for tomorrow to come.

Something different may happen tomorrow.Hopefully not...

 

[February 2005]

Mr. Jones goes to heaven

 

 

"There's a little fable about a Mr. Jones who dies and goes to heaven. Peter is waiting at the gates to give him a tour. Amid the splendor of golden streets, beautiful mansions, and choirs of angels that Peter shows him, Mr. Jones notices and odd-looking building. He thinks it looks like an enormous warehouse - it has no windows and only one door. But when he asks to see inside, Peter hesitates. "You really don't want to see what's in there," he tells the new arrival. Why would there be any secrets in heaven? Jones wonders. What incredible surprise could be waiting for me in there? When the official tour is over he's still wondering, so he asks again to see inside the structure. Finally Peter relents. When the apostle opens the door, Mr. Jones almost knocks him over in the haste to enter. It turns out that the enormous building is filled with row after row of shelves, floor to ceiling, each stacked neatly with white boxes tied in red ribbons. "These boxes all have names on them," Mr. Jones muses aloud. Then turning to Peter he asks, "Do I have one?" "Yes you do." Peter tries to guide Mr. Jones back outside. "Frankly," Peter says, "if I were you... . " But Mr. Jones is already dashing toward the "J" aisle to find his box. Peter follows, shaking his head. He catches up with Mr. Jones just as he is slipping the red ribbon off his box and popping the lid. Looking inside, Jones has a moment of instant recognition, and he lets out a deep sigh like the ones Peter has heard so may times before. Because there in Mr. Jones's white box are all the blessings that God wanted to give to him while he was on earth... but Mr. Jones had never asked."

- Bruce Wilkinson, The Prayer of Jabez

The eagle who lived as a chicken

Here is a story that I remembered after posting my previous entry about the circus elephant:

(Photo courtesy of birdsasart.com)

Once upon a time, there was a large mountainside, where an eagle's nest rested. The eagle's nest contained four large eagle eggs. One day an earthquake rocked the mountain causing one of the eggs to roll down the mountain, to a chicken farm, located in the valley below.  The eaglet hatched with the brood of chicks and grew up with them.

   All his life the eagle did what the barnyard chicks did, thinking he was a barnyard chicken.  He scratched the earth for worms and insects.  He clucked and cackled.  And he would thrash his wings and fly a few feet into the air.

    Years passed and the eagle grew very old.  One day he saw a magnificent bird above him in the cloudless sky.  It glided in graceful majesty among the powerful wind currents, with scarcely a beat of its strong golden wings.

    The old eagle looked up in awe. "Who's that?" he asked.

     "That's the eagle, the king of the birds," said his neighbor.  "He belongs to the sky.  We belong to the earth-- we're chickens." 

So the eagle lived and died a chicken, for that's what he believed he was.

The circus elephant

(Photo Courtesy of Sequential One)

When I was a kid, my school used to host a circus every summer. In the morning, I would sneak behind the circus tent and watch the trainers feeding and training the animals. That was one of my greatest joys.

I remember peeking at the elephants and noticing something that fascinated me and kept me wondering for a while: knowing how powerful an elephant is, I was surprised to see a thin rope tying the elephant's leg to a pole, and that the elephant never tried to escape even though it would take no effort to pull the rope and walk away.

After a couple of days, I gave up thinking and went to ask one of the trainers. He smiled and said:"It wasn't always a rope, you know. When the elephant is young, we put a hard chain around its leg so that whenever the elephant pulls, it would feel the resistance of the strong chain and know that how far it can go.".

"When the elephant grows up", he continued, "there is no need for a chain anymore. We just put a rope around its leg and the elephant stops pulling whenever it feels resistance. The elephant doesn't know anymore that the chain is gone, and that the rope tying it to the pole can be easily broken as soon as it decides to walk away. The only limitation that elephant has, is in its own mind."

"For the elephant," the trainer concluded, "all that remains is the memory of the old pain from the chain, and the resistance of the thin rope... The elephant doesn't know the difference. "